Meet the parents

I suppose that this is more of a avenue for me to waste time than for me to spout off deep and personal thoughts. Then again, who turns to strangers when seeking amusement? I have to meet my girlfriends grandparents today. Not cool. I'm sure that they will be pleasant and engaging but I really don't want to hear this:

Them: "Oh, you should really make some time to go up to TC and visit us over the summer. It's really beautiful around this time."

Girlfriend: "Oh that would be great. Michael, what do you have going on next weekend?"

Me: (stammering) "I think I am.....free, that sounds wonderful"

Girlfriend: "Cool, we'll leave next Saturday Grandma and Grandpa"

Them: "Oh, super. Well, There's a great brunch place we can go after church."

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, and one more for good meausre. I don't want to go not at all not for money not for an hour with Jessica Alba, well maybe that, but whatever. I'm sure we can ask me all sorts of inappropriate questions while I am there too.

"What do you parents do?"
"He's dead, oh that's a shame. Did he have life insurance?"
"That Granholm is a real liberal cunt whore. Tell me why you would never vote democrat?"
"Are you Christian Reformed?"
"So you're going to hell and that's fine with you?"
"What are you going to do with and english degree?"


I can only hope that they ask me to say the prayer at breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Time to check and see if the lifeguards are here. Maybe some coffee or some water. Too early to make these decisions. Anyway, nice chatting.

foam cup blues

the thing is, it is not easy to get up at 4am. if i were catching a flight, maybe, or if i was awaken to find that natalie portman had crawled into my bed, that would be reason enough. i had to wake up to go to work. it sucks when you are so tired that you would give your right hand for a cup of coffee and then you have to go to work and make coffee.